Understanding a Nanny’s Role in Your Home

Setting clear expectations that support your child and your home

One of the most common sources of tension between families and nannies is not effort or intention. It is uncertainty.

Many parents go into a nanny relationship with a general idea of what they need, but without clearly defining what the role actually includes. They assume things will naturally fall into place. Sometimes they do. Often, they do not.

Understanding what responsibilities a nanny should have is not about micromanaging. It is about clarity. And clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can give both your child and the caregiver supporting them.

A nanny’s primary responsibility is always the child

At its core, a nanny’s role centers on your child’s care, safety, and well being. Everything else flows from that foundation.

A nanny supports your child through daily routines, emotional regulation, play, rest, and development. They help create a predictable rhythm that allows your child to feel secure and understood.

When responsibilities drift too far from the child, confusion and frustration often follow. Keeping the role child focused protects the relationship and keeps expectations fair.

Daily childcare responsibilities most families expect

While every household is different, there are responsibilities that are commonly part of a nanny’s role.

These often include caring for your child throughout the day, preparing meals or snacks for the child, supporting naps or quiet time, engaging in age appropriate play, helping with learning through everyday activities, and maintaining the child’s spaces.

This might mean tidying toys used during the day, washing bottles or dishes related to the child, or organizing play areas so they are ready for the next day.

These tasks are part of supporting the child, not separate from it.

Responsibilities shift based on your child’s age

What a nanny does for an infant looks very different from what they do for a school aged child.

With infants, responsibilities often focus on feeding, diapering, sleep routines, soothing, and supporting developmental milestones.

With toddlers, the role expands into helping with transitions, emotional regulation, language development, and active play.

With older children, responsibilities may include school drop offs or pick ups, homework support, after school routines, and helping children decompress after long days.

Clarifying how responsibilities evolve as your child grows helps everyone stay aligned over time.

What is usually not part of a nanny’s role

This is where many families feel unsure.

In most nanny arrangements, responsibilities do not include deep household cleaning, managing unrelated household tasks, caring for adults, or handling responsibilities unrelated to the child.

Light tidying related to the child is common. Managing the entire household is not, unless that has been clearly discussed and agreed upon.

When expectations are unclear, resentment can quietly build on both sides. Clear boundaries prevent that.

Why defining responsibilities early matters

When parents and nannies share the same understanding of the role, the relationship feels easier.

Your nanny knows what success looks like.

You feel confident in what you are asking for.

Your child benefits from consistency and clarity.

Defining responsibilities early also makes it easier to adjust as needs change. Conversations feel collaborative rather than corrective.

How to communicate responsibilities without feeling uncomfortable

Many parents worry that outlining responsibilities will feel cold or transactional. In reality, clarity often feels respectful.

You can frame the conversation around support and teamwork. Share what helps your household run smoothly. Invite questions. Acknowledge that every family is different.

When expectations are shared calmly and openly, they create trust rather than tension.

A nanny is not just extra help. They are a caregiver stepping into your child’s daily life. That role deserves clarity, respect, and thoughtful communication.

When you understand what responsibilities a nanny should have and take the time to define them clearly, you set everyone up for success.

Your child feels secure.

Your nanny feels supported.

And your home feels more balanced.